Start it Over
by elenagallagher
Summary: I've been in care since I was ten. When I first came to Burneywood, I didn't know anyone. There's no worse feeling. I made friends, two in particular who became almost like brothers. They can never replace my real brothers, of course. I got fostered when I was 13. I thought I was so lucky, but it turns out it's not always that simple. Now I just want to start it over.
1. Chapter 1

"Who is she?" I hear as I slowly wake up, not yet opening my eyes,

"Who cares she can't stay anyway," comes another voice. Different. Harsher,

"Mike, her arm," I can feel it now. The throbbing pain in my left arm getting stronger as I become more aware of my surroundings, "Is she...dead?" A nervous voice says. It's a girl, a young girl who can't be more than 7 or 8. I feel dead. The pain in my arm is stronger and my head hurts more than anything, "No," I manage to croak out, opening my eyes and wincing as the bright hall light almost blinds me. Standing over me is a group of people who can't be related. I don't know or recognise any of them, "Hi," a boy roughly my age says finally after a long awkward silence, "Hello," I give a weak smile before a wave of dizziness washes over me and I feel myself slipping back into unconsciousness, "Okay you lot, move back," an older man who had been standing at the back says. He's Irish, like me, "Can you hear me?"

"What if she needs an ambulance?" the boy from before says worriedly,

"Shh,"

"Yes," I mumble, "I can hear you,"

"Good. Can you tell me your name?"

"Caoilainn,"

"Ok, Caoilainn, I need to make some calls about what we're going to do with you," he smiles warmly. I know that sort of smile, though. It's the smile people use to reassure others when deep down they know everything's falling to pieces, "Call who?"

"Social Services," Ugh. Social Services. It's their fault I'm here. If they could mind their own business I would be fine right now, with my mum and brothers. Maybe not my mum. She has important stuff to do most of the time so I don't see her much, but Kian looks after just as well. He used to at least, "Caoilainn?" I snap out of my day dream at the sound of my own name, "Go to the living room with Johnny and the others please?" He smiles again and I look to the right to see the boy who said hi looking at me expectantly. I guess he's Johnny. I struggle slightly getting to my feet and, walking to the big double doors to the living room, I'm slightly wobbly, "So who actually are you?" Johnny asks as soon as I sit down on the comfy sofa. I knew the questions would come sooner or later. It was sooner, rather than later, "I told you, I'm Caoilainn," I sigh, exasperated,

"Yes but what happened to you? You know, your arm and head," I haven't dared look to my arm yet and I can't see my head. I'm probably in a right state, "An explosion," I mumble. There's a lot more people gathered than before and I wait for their reaction. I don't get one though because a familiar voice catches my attention, "Caoilainn! What are you doing here?! And what on earth happened to you?!" I look to where the voice is coming from and see someone I know quite well. I say quite, I mean very, "Tyler?" I'm right. Tyler makes his way to the front and sits down next to me, "No offence, Kee, but you're in a right state,"

"Tell me about it," I manage to laugh before something quite important pops into my mind, "Where's-" I don't get to finish that sentence because someone interrupts me with, "Hey, Squint,"

"-Rick?" I finish my sentence, a smile growing on my face,

"Guess you just couldn't keep away then?"

"Yes, that was 100% it," I say sarcastically,

"Was it my amazing good looks?"

"Of course," I start to laugh again, but suddenly Ricks quiet,

"Where did you go, Squint?" Squint is his nickname for me, but I still have no idea why because he's never told me. I suppose it could be because when I was younger I needed glasses. I've got contacts now so I don't need to squint, but the nickname still stuck, "So wait you two actually know her?" Says the same harsh voice from before. Now I can see that it was the older girl with the blue highlights who said it, "Why wouldn't we?" Rick starts,

"It is kinda difficult to forget someone who you survived Burneywood with," Tyler finishes then looks back at me and smiles. It's true. We looked out for each other back at Burneywood. We stayed out of trouble together, got into trouble together and basically just looked out for each other. Like that film, Lilo and Stitch, where Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind. They made up for the family I was taken away from. Almost,"That's it!" A girl shouts. I can't see who it is, there are too many people and the dizziness is starting to come back, "That's where I know her from. She was at Burneywood," I can see the girl who spoke now. All...pink and fluffy. Huh. Her voice isn't fluffy, let me tell you. She's glaring at me with accusing eyes and actually so are the others come to think of it. I do remember her but I don't know what she's getting annoyed over. I didn't even do anything to her, "Squint are you okay?" Rick asks, grabbing my hand suddenly concerned. I don't get the chance to answer as the dizziness gets stronger. All I can do is shake my head quickly, scrunching my eyes up tight, "Get Mike," I hear Rick say to the small crowd of kids, "Now!" He says more urgently. I don't know what happens next because I still have my eyes shut. All I can feel is the grip on my hand getting tighter, "Rick get me the phone please," Mike, the head care worker here, half asks and half demands, "But-"

"Now please, Rick," My hand is let go of and I hear him stomp out of the living room to get the phone, muttering all sorts of things under his breath, "Mike?" Tyler asks nervously,

"Yes, Tyler,"

"What's wrong with Caoilainn? Will she be ok?" Mike sighs,

"I don't know. We'll have to wait for the ambulance to get here then we'll find out," Rick is back. Or someone else is holding my hand. No, it is him. I can hear Mike on the phone to the ambulance. The last thing I hear is the alarmingly loud screech of the ambulance siren before everything goes black.

Let me tell you about myself. I'm Caoilainn O'Connor and I'm 14 years old. I'm in care, well I was until I got fostered. Now I get the feeling that I'm back and for good this time. No one wants to foster the older kids. They're the kids with problems, the ones who are past being cute. Basically the ones way past their fostering sell by date. I got lucky, getting fostered at 13. When I hit 11 and started going to secondary school I thought I'd be in care until I was 16. A couple called Beth and Chris wanted to foster me. I said yes, of course I did. You don't turn down foster parents. I guess I sort of forgot about the make-shift family I'd found at Burneywood. It's my fault I'm in hospital right now. We made an agreement to look after each other, but I broke it by leaving. It's Karma.

It turns out I've got concussion. The nurse came in yesterday to tell me that I need to stay the night. Sometime today I can go home. Hmm. Home. I don't really have a home anymore. My arm is a bit more serious. It's broken, in more than one place, but there's also a large cut from my wrist to the inside of my elbow. There's no way that isn't going to leave an ugly scar for the rest of my life, "Hey, Squint," I look up to see Rick pulling the curtain closed after him. I purposefully closed it. Life right now is bad enough without evil gawping from the other kids in the ward, "Hi," I smile, pushing a lock of hair behind my ears with my right hand, "You didn't answer my question. Where did you go?"

"Sorry. I was a little bit busy trying not to die, Rick," I laugh, trying to dodge the question for the second time, "I called, but your foster mum said you weren't in,"

"Beth..." I whisper,

"I'm sorry?"

"Beth, that's her name. She never said you called," I say, confused. Why would she lie about something like that? "I ran away," I say finally. There's no shock expression from Rick, only silence until he says, "I guessed,"

"How?"

"Oh come on, Kee. You turn up in the middle of the night in a right state; dirty clothes, broken arm, messed up head," I bite on my bottom lip. I've got different clothes on now. They belong to someone called Tee. She's just over a year younger than me but I'm small so they fit just fine. I feel much better than I did last night. I've got fresh clothes, had a shower and the best meal I've had in weeks. And, above all, they've given me some painkillers for my arm. The doctors said not to worry if I don't remember how it happened, but the thing is that I do, "I was living in London, Rick, but then..." I shiver,

"What?!"

"A bomb, well, lots of them. A terrorist attack, Rick," I almost snap. Rick falls silent and looks to the ground, "Sorry," I sigh. He stays silent for a while then smiles,

"Nah, s'not your fault," he pauses then says slowly, "I'm glad you're back, Squint. I missed you,"

We get back to Elm Tree house at noon. It's a Saturday so everyone is still here, most of them in the living room, and I don't have the added worry of school, "Caoilainn, you'll be sharing a room with Carmen. She's about your age and her rooms the biggest,"

"Can't I have my own room?" I ask nervously. Mostly because I don't like sharing a room. I can't sleep without the light on and I hate having other people in the room while I'm sleeping. It's also partly because I'm going to share with Carmen. Carmen is the pink and fluffy girl from before. She seems to have a problem with me, "No, I'm sorry. There are no other rooms," I let out a prolonged sigh then follow Rick to the living room. Carmen, Johnny and Tee are playing snooker as I walk through the double doors much more confidently than I did the day before, "Hi," I give a small wave. Only Tee looks up,

"Hi! You're Caoilainn right?" She smiles brightly. I return her smile and nod,

"Tee!" Johnny hisses, becoming Tee over to him,

"I thought we weren't going to talk to her," Carmen whispers. She's not a very good whisperer, "We can't just not talk to her. Anyway she seems nice," Tee whispers back in my defence, "Nah you can't trust people like her. Stay away from her, Tee," Johnny whispers firmly then pots another ball like nothing happened. I'm left confused and a bit upset. It's always hard in a new place where no one knows you, but I've never had people actually agree to not talk to me. And what did Johnny mean? People like me? What's wrong with 'people like me'? "Ah so gypsy girl's back then?" I turn around to see Elektra, the girl with the harsh voice and the blue streaks in her hair, "What?" I clench my fists and fix her in a glare, "Oh yes. We know all about you, you dirty little pikey," That's all it takes for me to lose it. Before I can stop myself I have hold of a clump of her hair and her hand is on my face trying to push me off of her, "Told you," I hear Johnny say smugly behind me, "She's dangerous, look at her," I let go of Elektra and turn to face Johnny. If I had gotten the chance I would've killed him, but a firm hand on my shoulder stops me before I can get within a metre of him, "He's not worth it, Squint," I nod slowly and let my best friend lead me out of the living room, up stairs, down corridors and finally through a wooden door. His room. I feel the tears start to prick in my eyes as he hugs me tight, being careful not to hurt my arm which is in a lime green cast and held in a sling too, "Caoilainn it's okay," he whispers using my full name,

"No, it's not," I say firmly, "Is everyone in this place as racist as them?"

"It's not rac-" He starts,

"Yes. It is," I say even more firmly through gritted teeth,

"Okay," he says calmly, avoiding an argument, "I'll talk to them," I give him a look that says 'yeah right', "I'm serious. They can't make you cry and get away with it, Squint," I give him a small smile, "And, Kee?"

"Yeah," I reply. Rick sighs loudly then rolls his eyes,

"You can have my room. I'll move in with Tyler,"

"Really?" This is probably the nicest thing anyone has done for me since I ran away from Beth and Chris' and it must show because Rick laughs and ruffles my hair, "Yeah, Squint. Really,"


	2. Chapter 2

The bright sunlight through the crack in the curtains is what wakes me up. I roll over to one side and automatically check my phone for the time. It's half seven. Why do I always wake up so early on a Sunday? When I was younger we used to have to wake up at half five to help Niall with the horses. Niall's my oldest brother. He's 26 now and, when I was 10, I couldn't understand why the social wouldn't let me live with him. But I know the answer now. It wasn't the social, it was him. He said no, said he needed his own space without his little sister getting in the way. I've never quite forgiven him for that. I kick the duvet to the end of the bed and stretch out my arms. I'm never going to get back to sleep now, I might as well get up and get dressed. I had a shower and washed my hair yesterday so I should be okay with just deodorant today. Besides, I don't really want to go down to the bathroom where someone like Elektra, Johnny or Carmen could be. I don't think I can take any more of their rubbish. So I tie my rainbow coloured hair in a fish tail braid on one side of my head and brush my fringe straight. I slip on a black crop top with the words "I'd rather wear a daisy chain in my hair than diamonds round my neck" surrounded by a picture of a daisy chain. Finally I pull on a pair of high waisted, blue tie dye shorts and that's when there's a knock at the door, "Yeah?" I shout in the direction of the door. I'm expecting it to be Rick forgotten something, or maybe even Tyler. I'm not expecting the person who opens the door and walks in, "We read your file. That's how we knew about you," I don't turn around. I can see who it is in the small mirror. Carmen, "Why did you do that?" I ask quietly, still not turning around,

"We wanted to know who you were," I almost laugh at how pathetic she sounds,

"And do you know now? Now that you know that my mum doesn't care a jot about me, my brothers abandoned me and that I'm a traveller. Did that tell you anything about me?" I turn around finally and glare at her, making my usually sparkly blue eyes go cold. She looks at the floor sheepishly, "No. It told you the bad things that have happened to me, not who I am. That's what's important,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Yeah me too," I grab my rucksack and push past Carmen leaving her standing in Rick's room not knowing what to say or do next. To be honest I don't know what to do either. At Burneywood it was simple. You looked after yourself unless you made some sort of alliance like me, Tyler and Rick did. Here everyone seems to like everyone, except me. That's why I can't stay. I half run, half walk down the hall and through the door at the end, "Caoilainn what the hell?!"

"Tyler I can't stay here,"

"What are you talking about?" Tyler asks sitting up and rubbing his eyes, adjusting to the bright light of the day, "It's different here, nicer. You're lucky, but I've got to go ok?"

"Kee, don't go please,"

"Sorry. I messed up by coming to find you in the first place,"

"Wait, you didn't come here by accident? You were looking for us?" I nod slowly,

"I thought this place was maybe as bad as Burneywood, but I guess I was wrong,"

"No!" Tyler yells at me as I start to leave. Rick starts to stir,

"Shh!" I hiss back,

"Please don't go," He says helplessly, "You're like my big sister," he sighs,

"Bye Tyler," I swing my rucksack over my shoulder and shut the door behind me. It's still early so I manage to get out through the kitchen door. Now I'm free. I'll find James, the boy who helped me out when I was on the streets. It shouldn't be too hard as long as he hasn't gone anyway. I remember now. He was taking his group up north, but that's not until March. They should still be under the bridge in London. London's a long way away though. It will take me a couple of days, maybe even a week, on foot, but I can always try hitchhiking. It never really worked for me before, but, hey, everything's changing. I find a group of homeless people under one of the bridges in town. There's large puddles of water from the rain and two train tracks running straight through the middle with camp fires and all sorts built around. A small amount of people look up as I walk slowly down under the bridge, carefully avoiding the puddles of water and the train tracks. I don't know if they're in use or not, but better safe than sorry. The people who do look up are surprised to see me. You don't normally get young girls rocking up in converses, shorts and a t-shirt, I should know. I raise my hands slightly in defence to show I don't mean any harm, "Hi," I smile. A young man steps forward towards me and looks me up and down, "Who are you?" A fair enough question,

"My names Jessica," I lie. It's the alias I always use on the street. You can't go telling people your real name. Somehow the police will find out and then they send you back to where you came from. Unless you didn't come from anywhere. Then they don't wanna know, "Have you run away?" His questions are forward and to the point,

"Yes,"

"You can't stay here. What about your parents?"

"I'm in care," I say. He narrows his eyes at me then sighs,

"Guys this is Jessica, be nice," he turns around and says to the other people here,

"And who are you?"

"David," he winks slightly. He knows I know that's just an alias. He looks more like a Dan to me, "You hungry, Jessica?" He asks, almost taunting me but nothing so horrible,

"Oh please, call me Jessie," I reply sarcastically, quick as a flash,

"Alright," David grins, "Jessie,"

"So are you the leader here then or something?" I ask, fiddling with a piece of rope attached to one of the big metal barrels, "What are we, a gang of criminals?" He laughs, "Don't answer that one. No I'm not the leader, Jess. I'm the youngest here, well until you pitched up,"

"You just seem to keep everyone in line, that's all,"

"If I didn't nobody would," He leans forward and then whispers, "If you ask me half the people here are either pyromaniacs or crazy, but then who am I to judge?"

"How old are you David?" I ask out of curiosity,

"I'm 17. Your turn,"

"14. Nearly 15,"

"Really? I thought you'd be younger," he tries, and fails, to hide his surprise, "Got anyone looking for you?" I don't know if it's coincidence or pure irony, but that exact moment I hear a familiar voice shout, "Caoilainn!" I turn quickly, my hair falling over my face as I do so and see Rick, of course it's Rick who else, "Damn it," I barely have time to pick up my rucksack before I have to start running, my blue converses splashing in the deep muddy puddles scattered across the concrete floor. Ricks at the other end of the bridge, about 10 metres behind me, and I'm a fast runner. Much faster than him anyhow. I definitely don't expect to be grabbed from the side by none other than the girl who called me a pikey just the day before, "You're not going anywhere," she mumbles, keeping her grip tight around my waist as I try to struggle away until Rick catches up with us, "Out of breath?" I taunt,

"Don't run away again," he says strictly,

"You're not my dad,"

"So why do I always have to act like I am?! Bail you out of trouble all the time!" I blink in surprise and step back a little, "Rick, I-"

"No, shut up Caoilainn. What about Tyler?!" He sighs then whispers, "What about me?"

"But that's why I left London," I try to explain when a bigger question pops into my mind, "How'd you find me?"

"Take a wild guess,"

"Tyler...What happened?"

"Well basically I woke up really early and Tyler was being all weird, not telling a stupid joke or pulling a rubbish prank like he normally is. Took a while to get it out of him, but he was pretty upset," I'm supposed to feel guilty and I do. I never wanted to hurt Tyler, but I did. Twice, "So what about you?" I turn to Elektra who is still holding onto me tight, "Why do you care?"

"We got off on the wrong foot,"

"You think?" I scoff,

"Ricks a mate. You help your mates," Then she smiles. She's actually quite pretty when she's not scowling at people, "Forgive me?"

"Yeah," I nod. It's easier to let things go sometimes, rather than kick up a big fuss. I stick my right hand out, "Friends?" Elektra pauses for a moment, looking at my hand, "Friends," she agrees, shaking it.


	3. Chapter 3

"Caoilainn I've been on the phone to your social worker," Mike says as soon as we walk through the door, "You didn't tell me you ran away from your foster home,"

"You didn't ask," I shrug,

"Come on, Caoilainn. You're a bright girl. Beth and Chris have been worried about you,"

"Let them worry, I don't need them,"

"Dana says Jamie's been worried about you too," Dana is my social worker. She's nice and newly qualified so it's easy to wrap around my little finger. Jamie. Jamie was my foster sister, before I left. She's Beth and Chris' actual daughter and they said I led her astray. Jamie's a nice girl and was desperate to make friends with me, so desperate that she cut her hair short and died it light blue. Beth cried and said she'd ruined her beautiful long blonde hair. It always looked more strawberry blonde than blonde to me, but say that and Beth would bite your head off, "Why did you leave, babes?" Gina asks. I forgot to tell you about her. Gina is the other care worker here. She's really nice from what I can tell, if a little strict. She wears different coloured braided extensions in her hair and long colourful dresses. She sort of reminds me of some of the women back home. No this is home now. Back at whatever camp I stayed at before, we were always moving, "They didn't know me, at all," I tell Gina, who listens, "Why did they foster me if they were only interested in the daughter they already had?"

"Maybe it was a mistake yeah babes?" Gina puts one arm round my shoulder, "Doesn't mean you need to run away. You only had to talk to Dana,"

"And go back to Burneywood?" I sigh, rolling my eyes slightly,

"Why don't you go get cleaned up and get some food inside you. We'll talk some more when Dana gets here," Mike says kindly, giving me a little push towards the stairs and I start up them, "Squint wait up,"

"Go away,"

"What. Why you mad at me now?" I stop,

"I just don't wanna be back here Rick! Answering questions about my life like I always have to. It's easier on the streets,"

"So it's easier being cold? Wondering where the next meals coming from, whether the police are going to pick you up or not?" Rick practically shouts then goes quiet, "We all have to answer questions, Kee,"

"Yeah we do and maybe I wouldn't mind so much if the kids here hadn't already read my file. I'll be gone soon. Once Mike and Gina have talked to my social worker, I'm gone and you won't find me this time,"

"Don't you dare go!" Rick grabs me by my wrist as I turn away from him,

"Who's gonna stop me, you?" I snatch my wrist back and start back up the stairs then stop and turn back around quickly, "My mum'll come back for me anyway," I stomp up the stairs and slam Rick's bedroom door. I forgot he let me have his room, doubt he will anymore. Who am I kidding anyway? My mums not coming back for me, no chance. She doesn't give a flying one about me, Kian, Niall or even little Danny. Danny... He got adopted way back when we were first put into care. Of course he did, he was so cute with his big blinking blue eyes and tufts of blonde hair. The other little kids didn't stand a chance against Danny. There's a knock at the door so I open it and, as I expected it's Rick with his stuff, "I want my room back,"

"Fine," I pick up my rucksack with one hand and, without breaking eye contact, leave the room. Now I have to share with Carmen which is not as bad as it seemed yesterday. After all I'm not planning on staying long, "Caoilainn! Dana's here, babes," I smile slightly then go downstairs to be greeted with my social workers scowling face. She's normally extremely pretty but not right now. Right now she looks kinda...angry, "What?!" I ask grumpily,

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Around," I say vaguely,

"Caoilainn that's not good enough. You've had the police after you, the social and not to mention how worried your foster parents have been!"

"They were the ones who made me wanna leave!" I try to reason,

"Look let's take this into the office, yes?" Mike says, looking to the stairs where Johnny, Tee and Tyler are watching and listening, "Yes, Caoilainn?" He says again when I don't respond or even move. I'm too busy looking at Tyler, trying to read his eyes. I've always been quite good at reading peoples expressions and I can tell that he hasn't forgiven me yet, "Yeah," I say hoarsely. My throat is starting to hurt from all the shouting I've done today, "Look, Caoilainn, I'm sorry I shouted ok?" Dana says as soon as we get in the office and sit down, "It's just I've been worried about you, we all have," I almost laugh,

"Don't pretend to care about me. Social workers come and go and you're no exception,"

"Don't say that. Of course I care about you, I'm not just a social worker you know. I do have feelings," Like it or not, she's right. I remember the time I was upset because my mum promised she'd send a visit request in, but didn't and Dana bought me a giant bar of chocolate. Then she proceeded to help me eat it, "It's gonna take a bit of working out, but I'm going to try and fix it so you can stay here, okay kiddo?" I nod slowly then start to stand up, "See ya later kid," Dana smiles as I leave the office,

"What was that about?" I turn around quickly and there's Tyler, not exactly smiling but not exactly frowning either, "I'm staying it looks like,"

"So you're not planning on running away again?" He asks, eyes lighting up suddenly. I raise one eyebrow, "Rick told me," he explains with a shrug,

"Oh," I don't have much else to say. It's been so long since I've seen him, a year at least, "Heard anything from your mum?" I try as an icebreaker. He shakes his head, staring at his feet, "Hey," I put my hand on his shoulder and he looks up, "Chin up. She'll come back for you. You just gotta hang around for a bit longer,"

"Did your mum come back?"

"You know she didn't,"

"Then how do you know mine will?" He asks. He sounds upset now. Great I made him upset, again. I take his hand and sit him down on the nearby sofa, "I don't, but listen. My mum dumped me, out of choice. It was a totally conscience decision she made. But yours...she couldn't help it could she?" I say tactfully, not mentioning her mental illness, "Maybe you're right. Thanks,"

"I'm always right," I reassure him with a smile. Maybe it won't be sooo bad at this place. I mean it's exactly the same as Burneywood. Isn't it?

I've been here for a week now and it's not so bad. It's different to living at Burneywood. It's very different to living on the streets. As I sit on my bed in Carmen's room, reading, I think that I might just be starting to settle in here. Rick hasn't spoke to me, not that I blame him, but no one has said anything else about my background or my family. I suppose I should thank him for that, if he had anything to do with it, "No! I'm not staying you can't make me sta- ow! Get off me!" I blink in surprise because a) it's not me shouting or screaming for once and b) I don't recognise that voice. Carmen looks up at me from straightening her hair and frowns, "Who's that?"

"Only one say to find out," I grin and rush out of our room then down the stairs where a few people are already standing, including Rick, "Who's that?"

"New kid," he mutters. I look in the direction the screaming is coming from and see a girl, younger than me but probably older than Jody, struggling to get out of Gina's grip. She's thin, not anorexic thin, but thin enough that you can see the faint outline of her rib age against her t-shirt. Her t-shirt is dirty and actually so is her face. She's got chestnut brown hair tied up in a loose ponytail and her fringe falls to her jaw, "You can't make me stay here!"

"You have to, babes, you've got no one else to look after you,"

"My dad will come and get me out of this dump," she says confidently, so confidently that I almost believe her but then one look into her eyes tells me it's a bluff. Something to give herself hope, like I used to do. I feel sorry for her because there's nothing anyone can do. Everyone has a first day in care and it's always bad, no matter how popular you are or what your story is. Out of the corner of my eye a see a man I've never met before walk towards the new girl and Gina, "Come on, Ellie, let's get this over with," I'm guessing he's her social worker. She seems to know him quite well, considering she's only just been put in care. Maybe she had a social worker before whatever happened. Some people do. You don't need to be in care to have a social worker, I know that. I can't bear it anymore. That little girl, no more than 11, crying her eyes out and shouting for her dad. I push past Rick and start down the rest of the stairs, "Hey, Ellie?" She nods slowly. She's got to the stage of crying when you can't stop sniffing because you're trying to stop but failing, "It's not so bad here you know," I put my arm around her shoulder gently,

"I'm not staying here for long, my dad will get me," she sighs,

"I know. I believe you,"

"You do?"

"Yeah, but while you are here you might as well make friends? It will make it go a lot quicker, trust me," I can see in her eyes that she does trust me. It's unreal how much she reminds me of myself just over four years ago. I can remember my first day at Burneywood all too vividly...

_"What's going on? Why am I here?"_

_"You need to stay here from now on. Where we can keep an eye on you properly,"_ I won't forget that voice. Dennis' voice, harsh and gruff sounding. Almost scary to a ten year old,_ "My brothers can look after me fine," I tried to protest,_

_"No they can't,"_

_"Yes they can! Ask them! They'll look after me you can't stop them!" I shouted, getting more desperate by the second, kicking at Dennis' knees, "Oi! Do you want a smack?"_

_"You can't smack me you're not allowed!" I screamed, even kicking at my social worker._ I had a different social worker then, not Dana. A young man called Gareth. He was nice enough, I suppose but he didn't stay long,_ "Hey, shh," I looked up and blinked away the tears. I didn't see Dennis' mean face or even my social worker's slightly kinder face. I saw a young boy, about my age with light brown hair and bluey green eyes._ Rick,_ "Okay? I'm Rick," he smiled,_

_"Caoilainn,"_

_"How old are you, Caoilainn?" _

_"10, nearly 11," I said quite proudly._ I don't know why but being nearly an age was an achievement,

_"Really? Well I'm 11,"_

_"What is this place,"_

_"Burneywood," he rolled his eyes making me laugh slightly, "Don't worry though. I'll protect you," He said as if this place was filled with dragons and demons, not a bunch of kids, "You?" I scoffed, gaining a bit of confidence,_

_"Well we can look after each other,"_

_"Alright," I nodded. He spat on his hand and stuck it out to me, "Ew," I laughed then did the same, smacking our hands together, _

_"There,"_

**A/N So I just wanted to say that Caoilainn's name is not pronounced how it sounds. It's sort of like KEE-LIN. Thanks for reading, please leave reviews with helpful criticism please? Or some new story lines to add? **


	4. Chapter 4

"What was that about?" Rick's arm out in front of me stops me as I try to make it back up the stairs, "What?" I ask, looking down at the carpet of the stairs, "You know what I'm talking about. Since when did you care about newbies?"

"Since when did you not?" I retort, finally looking up into his eyes. They're cold and I know immediately that this isn't just going to be a friendly chat, "I felt sorry for her, okay? Don't you ever feel sorry for someone new?"

"I did, once,"

"Who was that?" I ask, not getting what he's on about, "You're gonna make me say it?"

"Well, yeah because I don't know!" I almost shout, "You! Okay?! I felt sorry for you when you first came!" He turns and half runs up the stairs leaving me standing there. A few seconds later, when I hear the slam of a door, I turn back around and go down the rest of the stairs. I've only gone a couple of steps when I almost smash straight into Harry. Harry's the youngest here, a sweet kid with the classic blonde hair and blue eyes. A chill run downs my spine as I look him straight in the eyes. I'm about to say sorry, for almost knocking him down, but I don't. Instead I stay rooted to the spot just staring at him. It's the first time I've seen him properly without anyone else being there to distract me, "What?" He asks, slightly nervously. Well wouldn't you be nervous if someone was stood there staring at you? "Nothing...you just look like someone I know, that's all,"

"Okay," He shrugs it off and picks up Jeff, his toy giraffe that fell out of his hands when I pushed past him, then carries on back up the stairs. I make my way through the hall into the living room where Ellie is sitting at the small table, alone, "Alright, Ellie?" I smile at her, taking the seat next to her. She let's out a long sigh then gives a slight shake of the head, "Not really,"

"Tell me about it," I mutter,

"I've never been in a place like this, you know?" I give her a small smile out of pity then have an idea,

"You wanna know a secret?" I ask, becoming her closer. She grins, showing her crooked white teeth, and leans in closer, "When I first went into care, I screamed a whole lot louder than you,"

"Were Mike and Gina nice to you?" I shake my head, laughing a little,

"I haven't been at this care home long. I was at another, until I got fostered," Ellie nods then frown, scrunching her eyes slightly,

"What's that?"

"Fostered? It's basically where another couple say they'll look after you,"

"Will I get fostered?" She asks nervously,

"Only if you don't want to, Ellie,"

"I don't," She says hastily. I told myself when I first started talking to this girl that I wasn't going to ask her what happened. But, I broke a lot of promises to myself in the years I've been alive so what's one more? Anyway, curiosity gets the better of me, "What happened so they had to bring you here?"

"A fire," she mumbles, fiddling with the jigsaw piece in her hands,

"Did anyone get hurt?" I'm not prepared for the answer she gives,

"My mum and my sisters. They..." She stops and looks up as the living room door opens and I see Rick walk in. What does he want, why can't he just keep away? "I'm sorry," I say earnestly, putting my arms around her protectively. For some reason I can't explain I feel like it's my duty to look after this little girl who's had everything ripped from her, "What about your dad?"

"He's away on a business trip," she says vaguely then looks me right in the eye, "He will come back you know," She's so convincing I almost believe her. Almost. I hold on tight to the girl who reminds me so much of myself until I see Rick staring out of the corner of my eye, "What's your problem?"

"I don't have one, Squint,"

"Is that why your parents dumped you?" Even as the words come out my mouth I know they're wrong. I put my hand up to my mouth to try to stop them, but it's far too late. I've already said them.

_"Why are you here then?" Rick asked me. It was a simple enough question, yet I didn't really know for sure what the answer was. It had been a week since I came into care and so far no one had bothered to tell me why I was here or ask me how I felt about being here, "I dunno. I guess my mum don't want me," I said after a while, hugging my knees. We were sitting in my room, Rick lying on his front of my bed and me sitting on the floor, "Oh,"_

_"I kept telling Gareth, my social worker, that it doesn't matter because my brothers can look after me. He said they can't,"_

_"Can't or won't?" _

_"What?" I didn't understand back then, of course I didn't I was just a little kid,_

_"Maybe the social asked them to. Maybe they wouldn't,"_

_"Nah. We look out for each other back home. They wouldn't do that," I said confidently, "Go on then, spill. Why are you here?" I asked. Rick hadn't told me why he was in care either and now seemed like the perfect time to ask. He didn't seem to me to be the kind of person who opened up often so, now that there was an opportunity, I wasn't going to waste it, "My mum and dad were scammers," He starts,_

_"Scammers?" I didn't know what it was. For me, back then, there were just plain old thieves. Sometimes we'd pay, other times they'd get me to steal food for them, "Yeah, they tricked people out of money. Well they used to. They got arrested so now I've got no one to look after me so I'm here," He explains, sighing,_

_"So you didn't get dumped?"_

_"Not exactly. They're coming back for me. I just gotta wait here for a bit," I nodded my head then sat up straighter than before,_

_"D'ya think my mum'll come back for me?" I asked,_

_"I really don't know," he replied, running one hand through his hair. I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest, "Did she...leave you alone?" I don't know what made him ask that, maybe it was curiosity. I shook my head then stopped because that's wrong. She did leave me alone, "Yeah, sometimes. When Niall and Kian had to work she'd leave me with Danny. It was no big deal really,"_

_"Who's Danny?"_

_"My little brother. He's really cute," I smiled, uncrossing my arms and turning to face Rick,_

_"How old is he?"_

_"Three," I stopped suddenly as realisation of something washed over me, "He's probably got a new mum now,"_

_"What makes you say that?"_

_"Gareth told me he'd been adopted by a young couple who can't have their own children,"_

_"I'm sorry," he said truthfully. I just nodded. I had nothing else to say._


End file.
